He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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