I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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