If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My vagina just clenched in fear
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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