He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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