I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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