Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm both gender and math confused
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