I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
