She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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