What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
