If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
