i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
