Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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