Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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