We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i dont even know how to be here
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
