I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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