I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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