Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
