all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
