Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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