My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
