Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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