ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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