There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals