member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me