I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize