Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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