i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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