I am in a vortex of obligation.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My vagina is officially offended.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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