I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
