i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
