I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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