hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
