There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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