Don't you send me to vm
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
