Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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