I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
