i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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