I hate all girls vehemently.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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