So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
