I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
