She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
