Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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