I heard we made out
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
