He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
