you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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