The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
