Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
