just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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