called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Help. Why am I so naked?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
