I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
