Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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