some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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