you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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