dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
