I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize