I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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