You work out of a Hotel?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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