Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Two words: blizzard sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize