I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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