A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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