Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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