He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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