she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
