All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
