Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
